Submarine mom...

I recently read an article that was discussing the danger of being a helicopter parent, and it introduced a new term that I could really relate to, which was a "submarine parent". These moms and dads stay out of sight (figuratively) and let their children feel independent and self assured, but if they were ever in trouble, the submarine parent would swoop in and help out. My mom was a submarine mom. I just never realized until now that I was such a good swimmer because I knew she was there to save me if I drowned.

I had mentioned to my mom not long after Hudson was born how much I was looking forward to her being a role model for him and teaching him all of the great life lessons that she taught me. I definitely had a unique childhood growing up with two parents working in law enforcement. The topic of guns, drugs, arrests, abuse, and criminal behavior were openly discussed (at appropriate levels of course). I felt like I learned some street smarts from her, and the unattractive reality of some of my peers' behaviors. I was able to rise above most of the pressures that my generation faced and I felt like I came out of it with a lot of integrity and self-assurance. She also instilled in my my work ethic, my sense of right and wrong, my strength and resilience, and of course, my dashing good looks :)

As I go each day without her as a confidant, a mentor, a listener, and an inspiration, I have to try and imagine what she would be saying and advising me to do. I am trying to navigate my new role as a wife, as a mom, and as a strong willed and eager woman trying to find my place in my career. I would like nothing more than to emulate her success in life and to find myself in such a happy place when I reach the top. I never really understood why people would reference their lost loved ones in times of change and reflect on how they would feel about it, but I often find myself asking, "What would my mom say about this?" I hope that she would be proud. I hope that she is looking down and thinking that I am doing a good job despite my stumbles, and I know she is somehow guiding me through the times that I need her. Each day I get a little deeper in the pool of self reliance, and trust myself a little more. I may not have her there anymore to catch me when I sink, but I feel like she equipped me with some life preservers to hold onto if I need them.

In conclusion, here are some things I would like my son, Hudson, to learn about life from me, so that if he ever has to swim on his own, I know he will make it:

1. Learn how to accept responsibility for your own actions, and consider how they affect others
2. Be strong in your beliefs, but respect others'
3. Failure is okay, but make sure you learn from it
4. Be trustworthy
5. Be proud of everything you do
6. Know who and what is important in life, and treat them well
7. Focus on the positives in life, and change or forget everything else
8. Keep trying new things even if they seem hard or way too out of reach
9. Always expect the best out of the people around you; know your worth and don't settle
10. Make people proud of you