Mom, I don't know if you were watching, but we celebrated you this last week and it was so inspiring to see how much impact you had on so many people, and how missed you are. I feel so lucky that your memory is not lost on us, and that no matter where I turn, there is always someone there who can laugh and reminisce with me about you and your life. I hate how it took you leaving for all of this to come about, but I can see how many changes that are happening in your honor. I'm sure you didn't plan on leaving such a legacy, or expecting such a big turn-out in celebrating your life and your career, but just know that you deserve every bit of it. Your life has inspired me so much to keep pushing on and staying committed to the things that are important to me. I know that not everything in your life was always great, and you faced many obstacles, but you never gave up and you were always doing anything and everything to make it better for yourself and for your family. You worked your butt off and you sacrificed so much for other people. I now understand all that you did for those around you that you cared about. I face struggles in my life too, and I try to channel your strength and your perseverance and drive. I know that you would never accept failure or excuses and you were the first one to step-up and do whatever it took to succeed, no matter how much you didn't feel like it. You were rewarded in the end by being able to share your life with someone who brought you so much happiness, and being able to see the successes that you raised in your children. You are such an inspiration to me mom. I really wish you were still here cheering me on through my struggles, but I will have to just look above for my strength and guidance. I really miss you mom, but know that I am continuing to live my life to make you proud, and I will work very hard to make sure I live up to the woman you raised me to be.
I need something from you though mom. It breaks my heart every time I think about the fact that Hudson will never know your laugh, or see you smile at him, or feel your hug. I am trying so hard to be at peace with this, but I don't know how to accept it. What I am asking is that instead of being here physically for him, please watch over him from Heaven. Please keep him safe and happy, and please give him all of the hugs and smiles you can from up there. I am praying for the day he says "Nana" for the first time, as I know that little gift will be from you. I hope he learns how wonderful you were from the rest of us, but I know it won't be the same. He would have adored you, and I am so sad that he was robbed of such an amazing person in his life.
Love you mom,
Sarah
